The Dreaded Day

I have not slept in a week.  Restless nights.  Thinking.  Praying.  Remembering.  Trying so hard to remember things that I don't want to ever forget.  Thinking about things I would say if given the opportunity to speak.  Wishing for one more conversation.  Longing for a visit.  Realizing it isn't going to happen.  Allowing my emotions to snowball and getting very sad.

I was dreading today.  I hate when it comes.  This year was the hardest so far, and I am not quite sure why.  The waiting is awful.  The remembering makes my stomach hurt.

Today is the day my Daddy went to heaven.

As I have thought and allowed this blog to build in my mind for days, the one thing I keep saying to myself is: "A girl needs her Daddy."  I need the Father.

A girl needs to hear her Daddy's voice. 

I need to hear the Father's voice.

A girl needs to hear to him say, "You are beautiful.  You are a princess.  I love you. You are my girl."

I need to listen when the Father says, "You are beautifully made in my image. You are a child of the King.  I love you.  You are my girl."

A girl needs to sit in her Daddy's lap, or at least next to him and hold his hand.

I need to sit at the throne of grace and receive the Father's hand of love and authority over my life.

A girl needs her Daddy to lean on when her world seems to be falling.

I need to rest assured that I can lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus and He will never allow me to fall.

A girl needs her Daddy to dance with.

I need to better recognize the many, many gifts everyday of my life and then feel free to dance in praise to the Father who gave them.

This girl needs to be assured that her Daddy sees how big his grandchildren are; how they love Jesus.  She needs to know that her little girl will know her Papa, even though they have never met on earth.  This girl's heart aches when she thinks of how he would be so proud of the boys and love that little girl.  Oh, how it aches.

Praise be to God!  The ache is always comforted.  No matter what your ache may be, He is always the comforter. 

 

When my aches seem to be unbearable, the Father speaks to me, tells me that He loves me, invites me to crawl up in His lap and reminds me that He is in control of my world.  I listen and then I dance.

 

 

I don't know where you are or what your hurt is, but He longs to meet you and do the same for you.

 

This dreaded day is almost over.  It started off bumpy, but got better and better.  I cried, talked, played, ate, laughed, remembered.  I celebrated.  The dreaded day became a day of thanksgiving.  I found joy and I received grace. Tonight I praise and dance.

 

What are you dreading?  Listen for Him.  Sit with Him.  Rest in Him.  Dance for Him.  

 

Be assured, He knows what we each need better than we do!

 

Oh, bless Him!!

 



From the heart of a child...

This, from my heart, as the heart of a child, longing, waiting to be sponsored: www.compassion.com

I am a child that could have lost my way,
But you came along and have saved the day!
I was hungry, lonely and my future looked dim
My family and I cried out to the Lord and trusted in Him.

I had friends who had sponsors and it changed their lives
I wanted that hope and joy in my life.
My mother would bring me to the church each week
In the rain, cold or hot, on our knees we would seek.


A sponsor from Compassion would mean hope for my nation.
With sponsorship, I believed I could change my generation!

"Father, please!" I would pray. "Open their eyes to see."
"I am cold, hungry and hurting and they can save me."

Every week for one year, we would make the walk to pray.
On our knees crying out and believing in the day.

When I received the letter that a family chose me,
We rejoiced and celebrated!  It was a time of jubilee!

I had hope!  I had a promise!  I knew my future would be good.
God had answered my prayers, just as I knew that He would!

My sponsor family is special.  I love them with all of my heart.
They have given my family a brand new start.

They sacrifice to send money for me.
I now do my best to work hard so they can see
It is worth every penny-none of it is wasted.
Because on my heart a promise a had been pasted,

"Child, you are precious, you matter to me.

I heard your cry and I heard your plea.

Do not worry about your future, I have touched some one's heart

They will be Me to you, you have a new start.

When things are hard and you feel scared

Read the letters that your sponsors have shared.

They will love you like you are their own

And though they are far away, you are never alone."

Pictures and letters may be all that I have for now,
But I will dream daily of receiving my crown.
I now know Christ personally, because you gave.
And we will worship together in heaven one day!

At this moment, 2, 574 children have been sponsored this month!  We still have 534 children waiting!  This poem could be their story and you could be who they are praying for.  Will you please consider sponsoring a child? www.compassion.com It has truly changed our family!  If already sponsor, will you please send this to them?  Let's be Jesus to the world and work together to rescue them from poverty in His name!  I believe we can do it. www.compassion.com

Dear Lord Jesus,

Dear Lord Jesus,

I just love that for the next few minutes my world will stop.  I will not answer phone calls, text messages or emails.  I will not be interrupted by children.  I will not change laundry, stir dinner or pick up toys.  I love that the things that keep me too busy all too often are being put on the back burner.  For this moment, I want to focus on You and the gift you have given my family in Natalie.

When we received the news that there was a little girl in Ecuador that needed a sponsor, we were thrilled!  We knew that she needed us, but You knew that we needed her.  Your timing was perfect in sending us her picture!  As I prepared to lead a Compassion trip to Ecuador, you provided a way for our entire family to have a part!  Who knew that three little boys could have so much fun shopping for a little girl at Target!  Thank you for softening their young hearts to her.  They would have bought out the store if we could have afforded to!  It was precious to see them so carefully choose pictures to put in an album for Natalie.  You gave us an opportunity to once again talk about how much You have blessed us. 

Preparing, praying, shopping and packing for my trip did not in anyway prepare me for what You had planned.  I claimed Jeremiah 33:3, "Call upon me and I will show you great and mighty things declares the Lord." I believed You will all of my heart. 

Lord, we both know, that it had been a long time since I had so deeply desired for you to do a work in me.  I am so thankful for the mess that You made of me in Ecuador. 

I arrived at the church that Natalie attends and was greeted by several hundred children. I scanned the crowd for "our Natalie's" face.  Only You could ordain a moment like the one we had!  I will never forget the sound of my name being called by an unfamiliar voice.  I looked up to see a woman smiling from ear to ear and her words will forever ring my ears, "Brandi, my Natalie es su Natalie!"

The immediate bond that Marybelle and I shared is like none other.  Her Natalie, was also my Natalie, our Natalie, YOUR Natalie!  I understood love on a whole new level.  You opened my eyes to see just how needy I am, while allowing me to love and help the needy. 

Oh Lord, even now, I cannot contain my tears as I think of the hugs, stories, pictures and laughs that you gave us to share.  The four days that I spent with that family are by far, some of the best of my life. 

Lord, always remind me of how You answered prayers in both of our lives.  For Natalie and Marybelle, you gave them a sponsor.  You gave them hope by giving them to us!  Our family has been transformed by learning to pray for them and learning to make sacrifices (even though they are small) in order to send our monthly commitment.  You have helped us to take our eyes off of ourselves and to see and care for those who have less than us. 

I love that our children consider Natalie their sister.  We cannot get enough pictures of her.  We cannot get enough letters from her.  She is deeply connected to our hearts.  She belongs to us and we belong to her.  Father, how beautiful that You made us for each other!  We are a perfect match!  When you knitted each of us together in our mothers wombs, You had us pictured together!  You made us to care for and pray for each other.  You made Marybelle to be my precious friend and Natalie to be my other daughter. 

Thank you for placing a burning desire in my heart to know more about Compassion International.  Thank you for making a way for me to visit Ecuador and hold our precious Natalie in my arms.  Thank you Jesus, for making a way for her to attend school, go to church and have food and clothing.

You shared every moment with us.  You ordained every conversation.  You made a way for dreams to come true.  I ask you now, as I cry my eyes out, please Father make a way again.  Make a way for Natalie and her mother to be encouraged today.  Make a way for good meals to be on their table.  Make a way for her to get a good education.  Make a way for them to feel safe.  You CAN make a way, when their seems to be no way!  I trust in You each day to make a way for our Compassion family.

One more thing, is on my heart Lord.  Our sponsorship for Natalie and the Child Survivor Programs through Compassion are not enough.  Will you please prepare another family to be connected to us?  Will you please provide families in America, to provide for those in need around the world? Will you touch another heart today and give them the courage to step out in faith and sponsor a child?  You always make a way for us.  We never feel like we are going without, and yet our little donation impacts an entire family each month.  Thank you for your provision and thank you that I can trust you will provide for them. 

Open our eyes to see the world as You see it. Open our hearts to love others the way You love them.  Open our minds to grasp how amazing your plan is.  I need You  Father.  Natalie needs You.  I will forever praise You for allowing us to see that we needed each other. You planned our connection before we were born!  You are too good to me!

It is in the Sweet Name of Jesus that I pray, Amen.

If you are interested in sponsoring a child, the Lord already has one chosen for you!  You may do so at www.compassion.com.

The Vision of Hope

"It is a land the Lord your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end." Deuteronomy 11:12



My eyes are drawn to the people and things that I love and care for.  Nothing makes me smile like a great picture of my family!  I love to look at pictures of my children all dressed up.  I love to look at pictures of them being silly and accomplishing great things.  I enjoy looking at sunsets, mountains and still lakes.  It makes me happy for my eyes to settle on a plate full of delicious food and it is especially delightful for my eyes to see a butterfinger blizzard from Dairy Queen!

What we see with our eyes has an effect on our heart. 

This passage of scripture tells us that "the eyes of the Lord are continually on the land".  The Lord Jesus cannot look at the land we live in, the land He cares for, and not be moved. The inhabitants of this land are his dearly loved ones.  The ones made in His image. 

What He sees with His eyes, effects His heart.

This month is very special to me.  It has the potential to change the way thousands of eyes see this land and their future.  This week kicks off "Blogger Month" with Compassion International.  I am a part of a team that has a goal to get over 3000 children sponsored during September 2012.  Over the course of the next few weeks, I will be prayerfully pouring my heart out to you.  It my desire to open your eyes to a tremendous need and an incredible way you can impact the world and generations to come!

Today, all I am asking, is that you look with your eyes into these www.compassion.com.  You will see eyes that are longing for hope.  Eyes that are hungry.  Eyes that have dreams.  Eyes that need Jesus.  Eyes that dance.  Eyes that cry.

The three minute video will inspire you to consider looking at yourself...it might even bring a tear to your eye.

Will what you see with your eyes effect your heart?

 

 

Of course, my dream is to get hundreds of children sponsored.  There is a greater calling though.  It is one that asks you to look at others like Jesus does.  Is is a calling that Christ has given us to care for those in our land the way He does.

 

If you cannot commit to $38 a month to sponsor a child, will you please commit to pray?  When I had the honor of meeting Natalie, the little girl that our family sponsors, I will NEVER forget the words her mother spoke to me. 

 

 "Brandi, we have prayed for you before we knew you.  We have prayed that God would send us a sponsor.  Brandi, you are our answered prayer."

 

 

You may be the answered prayer for a child, or you may be the avenue that God uses to inspire someone else.  Please visit www.compassion.com and see for yourself.  It is a small sacrifice that can give a vision of hope to a hurting and dying land.

 

Compassion International is releasing children from poverty in the Name of Jesus...will you please consider joining us?

 

 





It's Time to Get Ready

Backpacks, crayons, notebooks, markers, folders, paper, pencils, scissors, lunch boxes, erasers...the list goes on and on...and on.  We have it all.  Will it get used? 

I tell the boys, "Make sure you color in the lines!  Use your best handwriting.  Get  those creative juices flowing and write!  Don't lose your lunch box.  Do your best."  Will they?

I look on the fire place.

Packed and ready to go!  Have we done enough?  My heart is burdened by that question.  But that is not all.

For the first time in my life, I am asking, "Have I done enough for her also?"  I gathered the supplies for my boys in one uneventful trip to my local Walmart.  Our precious Natalie doesn't have that luxury.  Our sponsorship and the extra money we sent her will help her gather supplies and get a uniform, but it is more than that.

Have I really done enough?  As we send our children off to school, it just can't be about new shoes and monogrammed backpacks. 

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

Are their hearts ready?  Have we invested enough in them and poured enough Jesus into them to prepare them?  Have the letters that we have written to Natalie encouraged her, empowered her and prepared her for life?

I hear the words, "Mom, can we pray for my teacher?" "Mom, I hope there are kids in my class that I can invite to church." "Mom, don't worry.  God will be with us when we leave."

The faith of a child.  The innocent belief that God will answer prayers.  The eager enthusiasm to speak of Jesus.  The assurance that He goes before us.

 I want to believe that we have done enough.

 I look at the smiles and the growth that has taken place since they walked out the doors in May.  As they prepare in just a few days to walk into them again, I pray.

The words, "Make the most of every opportunity." (Ephesians 5:16) flow from my mouth.  Then they convict my heart.  Are you making the most of every opportunity?

We must not be complacent and miss this one.  It will make a difference for generations to come.  My children need me to make the most of every opportunity.   My sponsored child needs me to make the most of every opportunity.  There are thousands of children who need to be sponsored so they can have that chance.  www.compassion.com/LIFEbridge Their lives are depending on my obedience and I have to be ready.  We have to be ready.

The supply list can wait.  Make the most of these days.  Take the time to color in the lines of children's lives.  Use your best handwriting as you write scripture on their hearts.  Allow your creative juices to have fun and play.  Take time for a picnic lunch and listen while you eat.  Do your best.

It may not feel like enough, but it is a start.  It is the cry of my heart as I look at the start of this year.

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

My faith, God's Word, grace, patience, prayer, forgiveness, peace, endurance, righteousness...the list goes on and on...We have it all.  Will it get used?

Could you Survive on $1.25?

"For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God." Isaiah 58:2

For the past year of my life I have had my eyes opened to the poor like never before.  I have always known there were poor people.  I have had compassion on them and given to the needy.  I have given money by sponsoring children or paying to send people on mission trips.  I have donated supplies or used goods from my home.  I have even been so gracious as to give of my own time to "Serve" them on a trip that always made me feel good. I am sure many of you can say that you have done much of the same.  Is it enough?  Have we missed the boat and forsaken the commands of God?

Nearly 1.3 million people survive on less than $1.25 a day. Could you do that? Everyday 21,000 children die from preventable, curable diseases. It does not have to be so.

I have been looking for free or cheap activities to do with my 4 children this summer.  We have spent a lot of time riding bikes and hiking trails at local parks.  It has been a blast!  I had an awakening this morning.  I was so proud of myself for being a "fun mom" and coming up with great active things for us to do.  After we finished our "free" bike ride and played at a splash park, I pulled out our cooler and gave everyone a big cold Gatorade and a snack of their choice.  I had even shared with my boys what a great thing it was for us be focusing on free activities, saying things like "We don't have to spend money to have fun.  There are many 'poor' children in the world that do these things everyday!" (Please accept my disgusting confession)  What I failed to mention was that those children live a lifetime without a Gatorade and never have the gift of choosing any snack they want.

"Day after day they seek me out..." I have asked the Lord to open my eyes to see the poor and understand poverty in a new way.

In the past, I have believed that, because someone was poor, they were different from me. In my ignorance, the Lord has been so faithful to reveal to me my very own poverty.  The cost of one drink is the total amount that many families survive on.  I will continue to "Day after day seek Him out..."  For I have a LONG way to go.

"They seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right..." Seem eager... as if. The Lord knows us so well.  We are a nation guilty of appearing to be one way, while our hearts are disconnected from the truth.  It is time for authentic action.  We need to stop speaking idle words. 

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

The truth my friends, is that many of us are living in extreme poverty and do not even realize it.  We talk a big talk, but our hearts are far from understanding.  We seem eager to help those around us and live our lives as if we are following God's commands, but there is no action.

We may not have to survive on only $1.25 a day, but that is the value that many of us put on our time with the Lord.  Just enough of Jesus, just a few minutes and we are satisfied.  We treat our relationship with our Savior as if He is pocket change-thankful that we have Him when we need a drink.  Not only are we closing our eyes to the physical poverty in our world, we close our eyes to our spiritual depravity, ignoring God's calls for us to do more, and go out for a nice dinner, again.

Jesus surrounded himself with poor people.  He healed them. He taught them.  He fed them.  He loved them.  He changed their lives forever.

We don't have to move out of our nice homes and quit eating out in order to do the same.  It is time though that we open our eyes to the needs around us and take a step to putting an end to poverty.  I want to challenge you to go to survive125.org and play the game.  Challenge your family and friends to play as well!  The pictures you will see are of women that really do survive on $1.25 a day.  What can you do to make a difference in their lives?  You could sponsor a child www.compassion.com/joyfulmom or you could commit to giving $20 a month to support a Child Survivor Program.

We have to change our way of thinking.  The families that I believed for so long were different than me, are really not different at all.  They are mothers trying to be good wives and raise good children.  They are dads working and worrying about how to provide for their families.  They are children who find joy in small things and just want someone to love them.

Will you join me in being that "someone"?  You can make a difference! 

I am ashamed to say, that I am pretty sure that I could not survive on $1.25 a day.  But, I don't want to settle for that amount of Jesus either.  We can make a difference by giving our resources and time to help end extreme poverty around our world, but it must not stop there.  It is time for us to accept the challenge of ending extreme spiritual poverty that is killing our marriages, homes and lives right here and now.  Let's stop "seeming" eager and living "as if". 

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?  Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help , and he will say: Here am I." Isaiah 58:6-9

Salvation Speaks

"But I trust in your unfailing love my heart rejoices in your salvation." Psalm 13:5

"Mom, Mom! Our friend asked Jesus into his heart today at Vacation Bible School!"

"Mom, a boy in my class has been asking questions about Jesus.  I answered them and talked to him.  I want to pray that he asks Jesus into his heart."

"Mom, the boy we prayed for, the one from China, asked Jesus into his heart today!  God answered our prayers!"

SALVATION...

Salvation.  Praise God that I have seen it several times over the past week!  It brings me so much joy!  Salvation.  The most important thing of all.  The greatest decision one can ever make.
Salvation.  The one thing that I desire for my children.  The thing that sustains me and gives me life.
Salvation.  It speaks to my heart. Why don't I see it more?

"God has something prepared and planned for you that is meant to have a serious impact within your sphere of influence." (Beth Moore)  I recently read this quote and immediately wrote it down to remember.  I can't get over serious impact.  I want to be that.

If I was living my life looking for a way to impact my sphere of influence, I am convinced that I would see salvation more.  It makes me cringe to think of the things I have missed that were God's plans for me; my opportunity to make an impact. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Salvation impacts.  Salvation heals.  Salvation gives hope.  Salvation secures our future.  Salvation speaks.  Salvation is God's plan for all lives.

We must not get comfortable or be content with only our own salvation. 

"I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation."

Psalm 40:10 

If we truly treasure our salvation from the Lord, we will share it with others.  We will pray for their salvation.  We will boldly speak of what God has done in our lives.  We will offer to those around us what the world cannot give them.  We will consider the power of salvation and its eternal effects.

"Lift up your eyes to the heavens, look at the earth beneath; the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and its inhabitants die like flies.  But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail." Isaiah 51:6

Hearing my boys speak of salvation.  Seeing God answer prayers prayed for the salvation of others.  Holding hands of children as they move toward salvation.  I want more.  I need more.  I am called to more. 

Salvation. I am letting that ring in my ears today.  I am evaluating the power of it in my life.  I am asking for ways to share it with others.

Are you living out your salvation?  Are you sharing your salvation?  Are you seeing salvation?  If not, why?  It is God's plan and purpose for us.  Let us not grow weary in doing "good" things trying to save the world.  Yet, let us understand that, "Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." Revelation 7:10.  Trusting in Him is the ONLY way to save the world.  May the salvation of others be heavy on our hearts and may we live each day like it is the day of someones salvation!  

What does salvation say to you?

No Need to Panic

Some one that I dearly love has recently encountered a blow.  A big one.  It literally came out of no where. When it happened, we were all shocked, angry, hurt and sad.  I have spent much time praying for her and asking the Lord, "Why?".  Today I read this passage and thanked Him for some understanding.

"Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." Deuteronomy 20:3-5

She needed this opportunity.  We prayed, believing that this would be her chance.  EVERYONE believed. 

Then suddenly, the flying dart hit straight into the heart. 

When the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, he sometimes comes with a vengeance.  We don't even have our armor on yet so we start the battle wounded.  I can't think of anything better to cling to, than to know that God will fight for me. When we feel like we cannot fight another moment, we don't have to.  When we are angry and raging, He protects us and says, "Step aside.  Don't make a fool of yourself.  I got this!"  When we need to fight, He will guide our steps.  When we are afraid of our circumstances and our adversary, we can leave in peace. 

God is faithful to do the fighting for us.  He is faithful to protect us.  He is faithful to guide us.  He is faithful to give us victory.

Can I just encourage you today to put down the panic button?  We don't need it!  There is no need for fear or panic when we understand the outcome of the battle. 

The battles make us stronger.  The battles teach us to depend on Christ.  The battles give us opportunities to hear from our Savior.  The battles are necessary for glorious victory!

I don't always appreciate the battles in my life.  I question them, when those I love are hurting.  God is helping me to understand His Sovereign hand on our lives.  I am slowly but surely seeing how the wounds may yield a scar; but His healing powers yield abundant life.

The panic of defeat is wrecking. It gives the victory to the enemy. Let us stake claim in His victory.  Let us live our days in victory!

I admire the way I have seen this hurt handled.  This blow may have set us back a few steps, but it will NOT knock us out! 

The next time the enemy takes a jab at you, let him know who fights for you.  Lean in and press on.  Then rest and wait for the victory.  You can be assured my friends--it will come!

"So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?"

 Hebrews 13:6

I'm Stuck!

It has been three weeks since my return from Quito, Ecuador on a Compassion trip.  Not a day has gone by since I have been home that I have not thought of my sweet friends there.  It seems that my mind is stuck on them...I am okay with that because it reminds me to pray for them and to remember their stories.

I am stuck on Andrea and Omar.  They work at the Compassion office and are not only incredible hosts, but their love for Jesus and their jobs is beautiful.  They were made to do what they do!  I admire their passion for people and for their country.  They inspire me to want to make a difference in my own country as well.

I am stuck on Bellina.  She is a precious mother in the Child Survivor Program.  I visited her house on Saturday and when I asked if she was a believer she replied, "Not yet."  I worshipped with her on Sunday.  I sat with her.  I held her little girl.  I wiped her tears.  On Monday, I held her hand and she prayed to recieve Christ as her Savior.

I am stuck on Natalie.  She is the precious little doll baby that my family sponsors.  We are in love with her!  Her smile is contagious.  Her hugs will go down in history.  Her giggle still rings in my ears.  Her tears when we said goodbye still make my eyes well up and overflow.  I miss her.

I am stuck on Maribel.  She is Natalie's mother.  She is a dear friend.  Her story of rescue and redemption struck a cord in my soul.  She inspires me to never give up as a mother.  I look forward to the day we will meet again.

I am stuck on Elise, Gabriella and Isabella.  Three generations and beautiful hearts.  Gabriella is a Child Survivor Program mother.  I will always cherish the words of her mother after our picture together, "Now we are four generations, because you are our sister."

I am stuck on Alexandria.  Another CSP mother that so candidly opened her heart to me.  We shared tears, stories, prayers and hugs.  She told me that she would love me forever-I feel the same way.

What are you stuck on lately?  I could go on and on.  I want to be stuck on something that changes me daily.  Something that moves me to action-that makes me more like Christ.  I am afraid that all too often I get stuck in the muck and lose my focus, but for now, for this season, God has me longing to stick like glue to Him and for that, I am thankful.

By the way, you can share in these beautiful women's lives by becoming a sponsor of the Child Survivor Program.  Just click here www.compassion.com/joyfulmom

What I am commanding you...

"What I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach." Deuteronomy 31:11

I have found myself too often in my life thinking, "That is too hard!  I can't do that!"  I tend to look at what is before me and not look at the big picture.  I tend to believe that I can do things on my own.  I tend to feel overwhelmed.  I tend to lose sight of my calling as a believer in Christ.  I tend to react with emotions.  I tend to speak without thinking.  I tend to act without praying.  I tend to forget that God is in control and that He does see the big picture.

I have been learning that the things I have "tended" to do in the past...need to stay in my past.  God is commanding me to change the way I think.

My heart's desire it to see what is before me and respond.  My heart's desire is to believe that I can do all things through Christ.  My heart's desire is to keep things in perspective and to be a wise woman.  My heart's desire is to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and His calling for my life.  My heart's desire is to guard my tongue.  My heart's desire is to pray without ceasing.  My heart's desire is to remember to give God the credit He deserves for the plans he has made.

What God lays before you is NOT too difficult.  He is faithful to make a way.  Let's believe that we can be world changers.  Let's follow the desires of our hearts.  Let's press on to be faithful in all that He calls us to do.  Let's walk in obedience.

What is God commanding you to do today?  It is NOT too hard...you can do ANYTHING with Christ!  Go for it!!!

Re-entry

Re-entry into America has been difficult for me.  I have been emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted.  I have found myself walking around feeling and I am sure looking like a zombie at times.

I haven't come home and felt the need to get rid of everything, or to have my children lick their plates clean because there are starving children in the world.  I don't need to move out of my house and sell my car.

There are things though, that I do need to do-things we can all do. 

We can do a better job of giving God credit and glory for the blessings that we have.  It seems that we live with an idea that we deserve a certain lifestyle-when in fact it is frightening to admit what we really deserve.

We can do a better job of caring for widows, orphans and needy in our world.  Giving up Starbucks coffee 4 times in a month gives a mother and her baby a chance at life.  www.compassion/joyfulmom.com.

We can do a better job of teaching our children to be "givers" instead of "receivers".  I am going to let you use your own judgement as to how that looks for your family.

We can do a better of job of looking for Jesus and looking to be like Him.  I am praying that God would open my eyes to see opportunities for ministry like I never have before.  I am looking to turn conversations that He gives me into sacred moments instead of wasting them on secular nonsense.

I knew when I went to Ecuador that I would leave part of my heart there.  It seems that I didn't do that.  I left my life in Ecuador.  The old life.  The one that I was living before I entered that country.  It wasn't bad, but it was different. 

I want this entry to lead to more.  Not more stuff, but more ministry.  More Jesus.  More love.  More compassion.  More grace.

I wonder if Jesus had a difficult time when he re-entered the world after his resurrection?  I wonder if He was worried about being accepted or welcomed.  I wonder if he was afraid no one would listen to His story or be as passionate about it as he was.  He came confident in who he was, and fulfilled promises.

I think that is my goal for this re-entry.  I will do my best to live with God confidence and to fulfill the promises he has for my life...and I will pray and look forward to my next opportunity to leave this country again so that He can mess me up! 

It is the difficult things in life that refine us and make us more like Christ.

Is It Possible?

Allow me to introduce you to my new friend, Fanny, and her son, Jordi.

As you can see, Fanny has only one leg.  She began living on her own when she was 12 years old when her mother sent her to Quito to live on a piece of land that was owned by her uncle.  At the age of 16, she got an infection in her leg and because she had no money to treat it, the doctor just cut it off. 

Fanny was raped and became pregant with her 3 year old son, Jordi.  When he was 8 months old, Fanny was riding a city bus holding her baby in her arms and crying.  She was crying because her son was dying.  Another woman on the bus noticed her crying and asked why.  When Fanny told her that her baby was dying, the woman told her about the Child Survivor Program (compassion.com/joyfulmom) that she was a member of.  She told Fanny that they would help her baby. 

Fanny was sad because the church where the CSP was located was too far from her home and she could not afford the fare for the two bus rides it would take to get there. The next day, the mother Fanny had met on the bus came to her house.  She took a picture of Fanny and gave it to her Promoter.  The Promoter is the volunteer that visits mothers each week to teach them how to care for their children and to encourage them spiritually.

The Promoter took that picture and travelled to Fanny's neighborhood.  This is what she found.

She went from door to door looking to match a face to a picture until she found Fanny.  She took baby Jordi to the hospital where he was treated and then she began to minister to Fanny.  Jordi is now a healthy 3 year old.  The CSP has changed Fanny's life.  The CSP, GIVES Fanny life. 

When I first heard about the Child Survivor Program, I wondered, "Is it possible that $20 a month really makes a difference in the lives of mothers and babies?"

I worshipped last Sunday at the church Fanny attends.  Her CSP gives her $1 each week so that she and Jordi can ride the bus to church to learn about God.  When the invitation time came, Fanny was one of the first to walk the aisle.  She had prayed a prayer privately, but on that day, she was ready to make her commitment to Christ public. 

The day before, Fanny had been loved on and touched by my friends and I.  Is it possible that because of our obedience to be the hands and feet of Jesus, Fanny for the first time understood what it meant to follow Him? 

On Monday of this week, I was given the honor of getting to visit Fanny's home.  We shared a meal together and she shared her story with me.  This is what I saw as I walked to Fanny's house.

She walks with one leg up a steep muddy hill, crosses a little broken bridge and enters her three room home.  There is no running water.  There is no toilet.  There is no door.  There are pieces of wood with blankets for a bed.  There are two chairs.  There are a few shelves that hold her belongings.  One of her prized possessions is her CSP notebook.  It is full of scripture, notes and activites that she has gotten do with Jordi.  Has has colored, glued and painted.

It has been possible because of $20 a month.

Fanny works hard to make little balls out of shredded material.  They are very absorbant and she sells them to auto mechanics and maids for cleaning cars and dusting.  She makes at the most, 10 cents for each ball.  That is just enough each month to pay for her electric bill that was $5.29 this month.  There is no other money.  There is no food.

She gets food.  She gets love.  She gets counseling.  She gets encouragement.  She gets health care.  She gets to go to church.  She gets Jesus.

She gets, because my family gives.

I wonder if your family would be willing to give?  Twenty dollars a month gives Fanny life.  What does $20 do for you?

I will never forget the smell of Fanny's neighborhood.  I will never forget the tears we shared as our hearts connected in her home.  I will never forget the smile on her face after being loved on and touched by Jesus.

Did the last $20 you spent save a life?  It could have.  Please don't hesitate to ask me how.  It could be the most important thing you do today.

Is it possible to change a life with hardly doing anything?

"With God, all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

There are so many words to blog today that I am not sure how to make them come out.  Today there are tears.  Lots and lots of tears.  Just when I think another tear cannot flow from eyes, they easily flow again. 

We have seen more today than most people see in a lifetime. 

Today, we saw salvation!  Many ladies gave their life to Christ.  Roxanna, a preicous friend on our trip who speaks Spanish told the story of Daniel in the Lions Den today and the Holy Spirit fell down on the sanctuary.  I am telling you, I did not know a single word she said and yet I agreed and believed every single word!  We were crying and yelling "Amen!" and clapping and celebrating and in the end several of our new friends gave their lives to Christ.  Others asked for special prayer for needs in their lives.

Today, I wept with women who do not undertand a word that I speak.  We held each other and hugged and prayed and we did not want to let each other go.

Today, I saw smiles on the faces of women who have never had a picture of themselves or their babies.  They very carefully made frames and placed their trueasure inside.

Today, I held babies that were dirty and smelled bad.  I was compelled to hug them and love them and kiss them, because they were beautiful.

Today, I was asked to be in pictures and share smiles with sisters in Christ that I will probably not see again in this lifetime but will worship beside them in heaven.

Today, I visited the absolute worst living conditions possible.  I sat with my friend Fanny and shared a meal in her home that had dirt floors, no running water and the closest bathroom was 2 blocks away.  It hurts my heart too badly to to try and explain to you what it was like.  I cannot post pictures for lack of time. 

Today, I cried as I said to goodbye to my sponsor child and her mother and to the women who say "You made me feel like a doll because you painted my fingernails and brushed my hair."  It was a very difficult goodbye. 

We have a meeting and I have to run, but you needed to hear at this moment what my day was like....how was your day?

You MUST see these faces!

You MUST see these faces and pray for each of them!

Today was the day of.....

Buenos dias!  I have to say that for the first time in my life I am thankful for the 7 years of Spanish that I took!  The flash cards have paid off and I have used more of the language than I can believe I remember! 

We have had a VERY full day and are anxious to get to bed! This morning we went to worship at the church where we have worked with the Child Development Center and the Child Survivor Program.  There are over 200 members in the church and barely enough room for them, so as the honored guests today, we sat down front and many of the members stood for the 2 hour service.  I sat on the front row with Natalie, (my sponsor child) MaryBell, (her mother) and Omar (my incredible translator).   We worshipped in spanish with a praise band.  They sing and play loud!  It was wonderful!

Some of the ladies prepared dances to praise songs and performed for us. When they finished we listened to a powerful message from Pastor Fernando about the church being one body and each person using their gifts to make the body work effectively.  He had a translator the entire time so we were very engaged in the message.  He shared the gospel and the Holy Spirit fell. Today was the day of salvation for 8 people in that service.  They boldly walked to the front of the church and prayed to receive Christ.  As I stood and prayed for them, I was asked by a Compassion worker to come and share with church.

It was so difficult to stand in front of them and not just bawl my eyes out!  I quickly asked the Lord to give me words and He is so very faithful.  This morning for the first time in my life, I got to experience something that I have believed in faith.  Just as each of you worhsipped in America and the Holy Spirit moved in your churches and lives, He did the same thing at the same time here in Ecuador.  It really is hard to comprehend just how BIG our God is!  I can say as an absolute fact that we will never clearly understand on this side of Heaven.

I shared quickly from my heart and prayed over the church.  It truly was one of the greatest honors of my life!  When I finished the praise band came up for a special song.  They began to sing "Open the eyes of my heart Lord" in spanish and we all sang and worshipped as loud as we could in english!  I am telling you, tears flowed freely down my face as we each worhsipped as we will in heaven.  It was a sight to behold and sound I will never forget.  Below is our praise band!

After church many of us had the joy of spending the afternoon with our sponsor child.  It was precious!  Many of the children had never been in a resturant or to the equator so they were very excited!  The bus trip was 2 hours long and we each had our own translator so the time was very good.  I learned during this time that Natalie's mother makes $90 a month and that is what they live on.  Her sponsorship through Compassion gives her family hope.





We shared gifts, pictures and stories and the time flew by quickly.  As Natalie carefully looked at each gift that I gave her, her mother sat across the row and cried as she watched her daughter.  The things that my precious boys took time to pick out and pack for Natalie were the greatest gifts she has ever recieved.  She told me that this day was the very best day of her life! 

We ate and played at the equator before saying goodbye.  We prayed together and hugged long and hard.  Tomorrow we will say goodbye for a long time-I am not sure that I am ready for that.  I do know that I will be back and that brings us all comfort.

We all had special days and feel so incredibly blessed to have lived it here in this country.  When God planned our days before we were born, this day was on His calendar.  This day was the day of salvation for the lost in La Victoria Iglesia (the church we worshipped). It was the day of dreams come true for children.  It was the day of hope for many parents.  It was a day realization for me-My God is present everywhere, all the time.  Today He spoke to me in La Victoria Iglesia and changed me forever.  What was this day for you?  May I challenge you to make much of everyday?  God has a plan for each one that we live-you do not want to miss what He has in store for you!

I am going to post another blog quickly with pictures so that you can see beautiful faces and pray for each one of them!

A Mother's Heart

We have had another incredible day in Ecuador!  I want to do a little better job detailing what we have done over the past two days because my precious husband has informed me that I am not writing enough! I will do my best tonight-I am feeling much better than I was last night!

Yesterday morning we spent several hours at the Compassion International Office.  We learned all the details of how Compassion works, met employees and were greatly encouraged in the Lord.  It was fascinating to learn of the needs and culture of this country and it was encouraging to see that we as sponsors are making a difference in the lives of so many!

We then ate a box lunch on the bus and travelled to our church.  It is a little over an hour away from the hotel and in a very, very poor community.  That is where we were greeted by the children and workers of the Child Development Center.  It is at the church, but it is a program funded by Compassion for children to attend three days a week.  Here they get a very good meal, Bible teaching, help with homework and a lot of love.  For most of the children, it is the only good food they get every week.

While we were there, we shared Bible stories, made salvation bracelets and necklaces, played games, painted A LOT of finger nails and gave hundreds of hugs!

We ended yesterday with dinner in the hotel and had a very precious share and prayer time.  Our hearts had literally been ripped out of our chests and many of us have been fighting pretty severe altitude sickness.  The day was terrific but difficult.

Today was full and totally different.  Today was about mothers connecting with mothers.  Today was answered prayers that I have prayed since I became a Child Survivor Program sponsor.  It was not enough for me to just give $20 a month-although that is incredibly important.  I had to see the faces of these mothers.  I had to hug them and tell them that I loved them.  I had to hold their babies.  I needed with all that is in me to be where they were.

We travelled back to the same church we were at yesterday.  It is 12 years old in this community.  It started with 8 members and now has over 200 members!  God is doing a great work there!  When we arrived, the Child Survivor Program volunteers and mothers had hung balloons and decorated just for us! They had made purses and jewelry and some even dressed up to dance for us!

The CSP is doing amazing things in the lives of these mothers!  It is saving the lives of their babies!  It gives them training in spiritual maturity, cognitive and physical development and they learn skills to support their family.

We wanted to give them a day af pampering!  At that my friends, is what we did!  The smiles on their faces are worth a million dollars, and I can promise you that my trip companions and I will NEVER forget them.  Here are a few!

 
The ladies made hair accessories, received hand treaments and manicures, sat for their hair to be straightened, curled, braided...you name it and we tried!  The also each received a new Mary Kay lip gloss!  We took their pictures and will print them for the mothers.  On Monday we get to give them the pictures and they will make a frame to put them in their homes.  For most of them, it was their first time to get their pictures taken! 

As you can see they all had their beautiful children!  I have to share a face with you! I have a ton of smiles, but this connection is super slow and I think I am over loading it!  You get the idea...precious!
They loved getting hair bows and seeing mommy be beautiful as well!

We all made friends and shared cherished moments.  We all were blessed because a mother's heart is the same all over the world.  We all want our children to be safe and happy and blessed.  We all have days when we want to pull our hair out!  We all have cried because we love our babies.  We all consider it the most important job in the world.  Being a mother is a gift from God and today, we shared that gift with mothers in Ecuador.  They are our sisters in Christ.  They are our friends.  We did not have to speak the same language in order to share tears and hugs and laughter because our hearts are the same.

We ended our day visiting the homes of some of the mothers.  The conditions are more than I can describe tonight.  Our time was blessed by the Lord and once again as we prepare for bed our hearts are full.  This day will be marked as one of the best of my life...I am sure my friends (Ecuadorian and American) would say the same. More tomorrow.....

Messed up by a moment

What a day it has been!  I will tell you now that this won't be long...my words are few for my heart has been messed with in a HUGE way today!  God has been all over us.  He has shown up in ways that we have asked and in ways that we have never imagined.  We have been humbled, hugged, honored, bent and broken.  It has been done in the sweet name of Jesus.

We drove up the street and could see balloons and flags waving!  What you cannot see is that there were 200 of them!  We walked through the lines hugging, greeting, kissing and smiling at each little face.  They celebrated us coming to visit them and it was more than I thought I could take!

We prayed and as lunch was served, we began to play.  I took out purple nail polish and became a Rock Star!  It was with children climbing all over me wanting nails painted that my moment happened.  The moment that I have prayed to have for a very long time.

I heard someone yelling my name and jumping up and down.  I looked up to see a smiling woman that I had never seen before.  Her words made my heart stop.  "Brandi, my Natalie es su Natalie! You sponsor my daughter!  Here she is!"  Suddenly a beautiful little girl lunged into my arms and I will never be the same.  She hugged me like I have never been hugged.  She looked in my eyes like she was soaking them in to remember them her entire life and I did the same with her.

Her sweet mother thanked me for choosing her child.  She told me that even though she had never seen the faces of my family, she prayed everyday for us.  That my family was her family.  At that moment, I felt the same way.

Natalie never left my side today.  I cannot tell you how many times we hugged.  She sat on my lap.  She sang me a song.  We took a lot of pictures...I will see her again in the morning and it will be another glorious day.  For now, I am going to bed with a full heart that has been wrecked by a moment.  I pray I have another one tomorrow.  Have you had a moment that wrecked you?  Pray for one, Jesus uses those to change us.

Let the Children Come

I woke this morning with the same words going over and over in my mind..."Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14.

Today we will go to the children and they will come to see what we have brought.  I am imagining their little faces.  Their sweet smiles.  Their laughter. Their uncertainty. Will they be happy that we came?  Will they really receive what we came here to give?

When Jesus calls his children to Him we find forgiveness, peace, unconditional love, security, acceptance, confidence, redemption, grace and mercy (Ephesians 1). It is an inheritance that is offered to all when we maintian relationship with God.

As the children come to us today, may they find Jesus.  May our eyes, smiles, hugs, hands, and feet point them to the One that brought us here.  I pray that today we give to the children what God has given us. 

At the end of the day, I am sure that I will have been given far more than I ever imagined.  Lord, please let this day be far more than any of the children we encounter ever imagined.  As the children come today, let them come to You through us and may You be glorified!

I had to go....

It was one year ago that I first heard about Compassion International's Child Survivor Program.  I received a card in the mail from one of my oldest, dearest friends.  She had just returned from Ecuador where she had gone to learn about this program.  Her heart was broken and she wanted others to see what she had seen.  Her card and the picture on the back captivated me. 

We both served at Passion 2011 in Fort Worth the week after I got the card.  I looked her in the eyes and said, "I have to go!  We cannot just talk about it and send our money, it is not enough.  We have to go."  I began to research and make Stephanie crazy with my questions about the ladies in Ecuador.  The more I knew, the more I loved them!  I shared my passion at a Beth Moore Simulcast in September and God brought a multitude of ladies who felt the same way!  They not only agreed to sponsor the CSP, which is a $20 per month donation from 105 people, many wanted to go with us.

I am so blessed to say that we leave on Thursday for this trip that we many of us only dreamed.  God has ordained a precious group of ladies. Some have travelled the world, some have waited their entire lives for this opportunity, I doubt that any of us can fathom what God has in store. 

We will love on mothers in another country, because we understand what it is like to be a mother. 

We will hold babies and smile and giggle at their sweet faces, because all babies are beautiful and God made us to go nuts over them. 

We will play with children and blow bubbles, and paint finger nails, and pass out candy and laugh and cry when we have to say goodbye, because a smile speaks a thousand words and we don't have to speak their language to laugh with them.

Some of us will get to spend a day with the child that we sponsor through Compassion.  At the end of it, we will better understand that what we give each month is not enough.

We will all leave a piece of our hearts in Ecuador, but we will come back full of Jesus.  It is because of Him we are going.

Follow along, I will do my best to show you what we see.  It is my prayer that your heart would be touched and that you would consider becoming a sponsor yourself.  You can check out personally for yourself  at www.Compassion.com/Joyfulmom.