The Dreaded Day

I have not slept in a week.  Restless nights.  Thinking.  Praying.  Remembering.  Trying so hard to remember things that I don't want to ever forget.  Thinking about things I would say if given the opportunity to speak.  Wishing for one more conversation.  Longing for a visit.  Realizing it isn't going to happen.  Allowing my emotions to snowball and getting very sad.

I was dreading today.  I hate when it comes.  This year was the hardest so far, and I am not quite sure why.  The waiting is awful.  The remembering makes my stomach hurt.

Today is the day my Daddy went to heaven.

As I have thought and allowed this blog to build in my mind for days, the one thing I keep saying to myself is: "A girl needs her Daddy."  I need the Father.

A girl needs to hear her Daddy's voice. 

I need to hear the Father's voice.

A girl needs to hear to him say, "You are beautiful.  You are a princess.  I love you. You are my girl."

I need to listen when the Father says, "You are beautifully made in my image. You are a child of the King.  I love you.  You are my girl."

A girl needs to sit in her Daddy's lap, or at least next to him and hold his hand.

I need to sit at the throne of grace and receive the Father's hand of love and authority over my life.

A girl needs her Daddy to lean on when her world seems to be falling.

I need to rest assured that I can lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus and He will never allow me to fall.

A girl needs her Daddy to dance with.

I need to better recognize the many, many gifts everyday of my life and then feel free to dance in praise to the Father who gave them.

This girl needs to be assured that her Daddy sees how big his grandchildren are; how they love Jesus.  She needs to know that her little girl will know her Papa, even though they have never met on earth.  This girl's heart aches when she thinks of how he would be so proud of the boys and love that little girl.  Oh, how it aches.

Praise be to God!  The ache is always comforted.  No matter what your ache may be, He is always the comforter. 

 

When my aches seem to be unbearable, the Father speaks to me, tells me that He loves me, invites me to crawl up in His lap and reminds me that He is in control of my world.  I listen and then I dance.

 

 

I don't know where you are or what your hurt is, but He longs to meet you and do the same for you.

 

This dreaded day is almost over.  It started off bumpy, but got better and better.  I cried, talked, played, ate, laughed, remembered.  I celebrated.  The dreaded day became a day of thanksgiving.  I found joy and I received grace. Tonight I praise and dance.

 

What are you dreading?  Listen for Him.  Sit with Him.  Rest in Him.  Dance for Him.  

 

Be assured, He knows what we each need better than we do!

 

Oh, bless Him!!